Divorce can hit kids in extremely difficult and unexpected ways. Parents can and should protect their little ones during this difficult time, but it will be impossible to control the fact that your children will suffer in some ways as the family splits.
It is important that you talk to your divorce lawyer about custody matters early on so that you feel empowered to act in the best interests of your children during the divorce. Beyond that, make sure that you reassure your children throughout the divorce. Here are three simple ways to do just that and help your kids adjust during this time of change.
Try This! Let Your Children Know That the Divorce Is Not Their Fault
It may seem like a cliché from a made-for-television movie, but the truth is that it is incredibly common for children to blame themselves for a divorce. That can lead to feelings of self-loathing and low self-esteem that can severely affect their schooling and social life. Reassuring them that the divorce is not their fault can help them own the fact that they really didn't do anything to cause the situation.
Try This! Give Your Little Ones a Sense of Power by Leaving Choices Up to Them
One of the things that can bother children of divorce the most is the sense of their lives being out of control. They did not get a say in whether their family split apart, and they can develop a sense of anger over that. They may also then feel guilty for being angry at the parents they love.
To empower your children with some choices and reassure them that there are still many things that are within their choice, leave some decisions up to them. Let them pick dinner, what to do on the weekend, or what game to play for family game night, for example.
Try This! Let Your Children Know That Both Parents Are Acting with Love
No matter how much you may want to shield your little ones from the toughest edges of your divorce and custody battle, some information is going to get through. Your kids may start to doubt how much your ex-spouse loves them if your ex is the one who left the family. Although such opportunities may seem like a perfect excuse to bash your ex-spouse, use that moment to instead reassure your children that they are loved by both parents and that both are acting in their best interests.
Finally, keep in mind that it is important to take the actions that you feel will be in your best interest and the best interests of your children throughout the divorce. When in doubt, seek advice from your divorce lawyer about what you should and should not do in order to best position yourself to attain custody of your children and start your new lives together once the divorce is finalized. Contact a law firm like the Law Offices of Kent Bulloch for more information.Share